


A Kiss to Build a Dream On

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-12-26 23:45:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18292586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: What if something happens to Steve during Age of Ultron (a intense fall, a blast to the head, something) and he doesn’t remember who he is.  The team waits for him to come around, but he never does.  Not knowing or caring who he used to be, he moves out of the city and let’s say to Vermont.  He buys a small B&B with an orchard and lives this nice quiet life.  The team never stops keeping track of him, but then a man (yeah, Bucky) checks into the B&B, he's not convinced that Steve can't remember.  Anyway, he slowly gets to know this new Steve and in the process finds something he wasn’t expecting.





	1. Back Story

**Author's Note:**

> This one I started over a year ago and it's just been sitting patiently waiting for me to come back and play. Posts won't be slow, but it does need a lot of work. I'm pretending everything after Age of Ultron didn't happen because the upcoming movie has me scared out of my mind.

Sokovia had been a shit show from the onset. The whole team knew it, but only after.  Hindsight is 20/20, as the saying goes.  But none of them could have foreseen this outcome.  None of them could have prepared themselves for the loss of their Captain.  No one was prepared for him to walk away and not even look back.

To him, they weren’t his friends, they weren’t his teammates, they were people that claimed to be those things, but he didn’t know. That was the crux of the matter…he didn’t know.

The last thing that Ultron did, before Vision destroyed him, was some kind of energy blast to Steve’s head. When it was all said and done, aboard the helicarrier, he didn’t regain consciousness for days after.  The rest of them stayed behind and tried to help clean up and get the people into safe living conditions, but Steve, Steve had been taken back to the Compound where he remained in a coma.  By the time the team did return, he was fighting whoever and whatever he had to, to get an explanation.

The one he got made him laugh. Not the funny kind of laugh, but 'you are all out of your minds' kind of laugh.  Finally, Wanda had offered to prove it and she did prove that they were telling the truth, but there was nothing left in Steve’s brain of any of the stories they were telling.  There wasn’t even anything of Steve’s before: no Sarah, no Bucky, no Commandos, no Hydra, no ice, no nothing.  Ultron had wiped him clean.

When Fury had come and said that he didn’t need his memories to fight, Steve just walked out of the room. He didn’t give Fury the respect of hearing him out.  Didn’t listen to a man who obviously didn’t care about the person, only the asset, didn’t even consider what Fury said to be important, he just…walked away.

It was Pepper that finally said what they’d all be thinking for months by this point, maybe Steve didn’t have to live this life anymore, maybe Steve _could_ just walk away, maybe Steve really couldn’t be Captain America anymore.  They tried, they really did, but finally, they had to accept that he wasn’t their Captain, he was just Steve and Steve didn’t want or believe that he was some ‘mythical’ creature named Captain America.

Pepper asked him what he wanted and Steve said he didn’t really know, but he knew it wasn’t in New York. That was the final straw for all of them.  When Steve said he didn’t like New York, it was too loud, too dirty, they knew their friend was gone.  Even a trip to Brooklyn and his old neighborhood didn’t do the trick.  He just stared blankly at the buildings and wondered who would live in something so cramped.

Pepper set up an account and had all of his funds transferred over.   She didn’t tell him that Tony had moved even more into it.  There was enough that he didn’t have to work ever again, if he chose not to.  It took a couple more months, but Steve ended up in Vermont.  Tony just hung his head and sighed.  Vermont for Christ sakes. 

He bought a B&B from a retiring couple that had an orchard attached. He read everything he could about maintenance and care.  Before anyone was prepared, he moved away and didn’t look back.  The only one that he kept in active contact with was Pepper, but even that was hit and miss.  He liked Pepper and most of the others, but he didn’t know them.  They spent their time putting their lives on the line and as much as he appreciated their dedication, he just couldn’t be part of something that he didn’t know.  Sam said that he should hang on to what he had with the team, but for Steve it just meant people looking at him like at any minute he’d miraculously remember them.  It didn’t happen.  Captain America was gone.  Captain Steven Grant Rogers was gone.  Steve Rogers was a new man with a new life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Pepper have a fight...sort of.

Mornings are Steve’s favorite. He loves the cool air, the bright colors breaking through the retreating night and the smell of fresh coffee.  His guests like mornings because mornings mean Steve’s pastries.  Steve had spent time in cooking classes and realized that he enjoyed baking.  He wondered for a split second if he’d cooked before, but then let that thought drift away because it didn’t matter.  He enjoys it now and starts focusing on pastries and other baked goods.  Travis is in the kitchen fixing the regular breakfast fare, but Steve takes over a small corner of the kitchen to fix scones, homemade donuts and on this particular morning, a Cream Cheese Danish.  “You know, if you keep making those things, no one will order anything I fix.”

Steve grins at his friend. “That’s not true.  They’ll just order your stuff to go with my stuff.”  Steve met Travis on one of his visits to Vermont a little over two years ago.  Travis just wanted to cook and needed someone to give him a chance.  After having dinner together, Steve had asked how he would feel about cooking in a B&B.  Travis had told Steve that if he gave him a shot, he’d be a loyal employee.

“Have you ever even noticed that we run out of your stuff?” Steve cracks a laugh and goes back to what he’s doing.

At 1:00 the guests that have checked out are gone and the two women that clean for Steve have finished getting the rooms ready for the guest checking in. Steve checks the books for arrivals and notices the name, P. Potts.  “Jesus, guess I have to be on my best behavior.”  He isn’t really talking to anyone and doesn’t expect an answer.

He gets one anyway from the doorway of the inn. “Maybe I’d like to see what a misbehaving Steve Rogers looks like.”

Steve’s head shoots up and he faces Pepper with a quirked eyebrow and a smirk. He feels guilty because if not for her, he wouldn’t be where he is now.  It has taken two years to really get on his feet, but once he did, it’s like all his hopes and dreams came together.  “Sorry.”  He looks behind her, wondering where the rest of them are or at least Tony.

“I’m alone, Steve.” She comes to the desk.  “Oh, they wanted to come, but I wouldn’t let them.  This week is just for me.”

He nods and checks her in, taking her bag and heading up the stairs. Pepper trails behind him, looking over the inn.  “It’s really lovely, Steve.  You’ve done a wonderful thing here.”

He feels his shoulders relax and lets out the breath he’s been holding. “Thanks Pepper.  That means a lot coming from you.”

Pepper makes herself at home, taking walks in the orchard, horseback riding and taste testing everything on the menu she can. Steve watches from a distance for a day before he finally sits down with her at breakfast.  “What are you really doing here, Pepper?”

His inflection is all Steve and it makes Pepper long for her friend, the one she lost. “I really just wanted to see that you were doing okay.  I’m sure you know that we’ve been keeping an eye on you.”  He looks livid.  “Come on Steve, you were a part of a family for years, then you don’t remember us anymore, so instead of giving us a chance to build a new family with you, you just leave.  How were we supposed to take that?”  She’s frustrated now.  “You don’t remember us, but we remember you.  There’s an empty place in our lives now because you didn’t even think of how your leaving would feel for us!”  She gets up, throwing the napkin down and does something that would never have happened before.  “You were a selfish fucking bastard and didn’t even care what your injury did to us!”  She storms out and leaves through the side door.

He sits, dumbstruck for several minutes, then gets up to go after her. If they are going to have this talk, then he gets his say too.  He catches her in the orchard.  “You know, it wasn’t as easy as you made it sound, but I had to walk away or I was going to get dragged into a life that I can’t imagine ever wanting.”  She looks at him and doesn’t hide her anger.  “All of you expected me to be him and I can’t be someone that I don’t remember!”

Closing her eyes, she lets that wash over her. “I didn’t want him back; I wanted the guy that used to stay up all night with me, eating ice cream and talking about art.”  Her head is bowed and Steve knows that she’s tearing up.  He can hear it in her voice.

The anger, on both their parts, starts to dissipate. “I didn’t know we did that.”

“No, you didn’t, but you didn’t stick around to find out either.” She’s crying now.  “I never gave a fuck if you picked up that shield.  That was just a part you had to play out of responsibility.  But when you left, I lost my friend too.  The guy that made me feel like someone saw me.”

Steve’s crying too and goes to her, pulling her into a hug. “I feel like you were probably the only person that saw me.”

Burying her face in his chest, she goes on. “There are times when being CEO of Stark Industries feels like it’s killing me.  Then there’s the PR for the Avengers, which is at times a full time job.  It was just nice having someone acknowledge that I needed down time too.”

“What about Tony? Are you and he…”  He rubs her back, taking comfort in the closeness.

“Come on, even not remembering him, you have to realize that he’s a narcissistic asshole most of the time.” She snorts at her own words.

“Maybe you and I could rebuild that friendship. The staff here is great, but I don’t really know that I could go to them in the middle of the night with ice cream.”

She hugs him closer. “Please.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Pepper become friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason that I spend so much time with Steve and Pepper is because I believe they really would be friends. Steve likes strong women because of his mother and Pepper is strong and smart. He would want to be friends with her and I think the fact that Steve would feel lost and need someone that would talk to him like a person is why this friendship would develop.

From that point, they spend all of their free time together. Pepper has to take a few calls because Tony always thinks he’s having an emergency.  Steve lets her use his office for those and then brings her tea after.  They are sitting in the lounge late when conversation turns to relationships.  “Are you and Tony together?”

Pepper takes another bite of the Danish she squirreled away from that morning. “I think so.”  Her brow is crinkled and her nose is bunched up.

“That doesn’t sound convincing. Were you two ever together?”  He can see that she flinches from that, meaning that’s something that the other Steve would have known.  “Sorry.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t be.  If we are going to be friends, then you need the gaps filled in.  Yes, we were together, but he kept taking these stupid risks and I couldn’t deal with that.  We broke up, but recently things have been…you know…”

He chuckles, making her grin. “So do you think it will lead somewhere?”

She doesn’t answer for a long time, just sits, weighing her answer. “Steve, I love him.  I don’t know why, but I do.  I want to build a life with him, but I can’t speak for what he wants anymore.”

He leans his head back against the chair. “At least you have a chance.”

She leans forward, placing a hand on his arm. “What’s going on?”

Closing his eyes, he sighs. “How well did we know each other before?”

She seems confused. “Really well, I’d say.”

He looks her dead in the eye. “Did I ever tell you that I’m gay?”

The spitting and sputtering that she does tells him no, he had not told her that. “Steve?”

He gets up and goes to the window, looking out over the orchard. “Look, I started figuring it out before I left New York and had a feeling that I’d never told anyone.  I finally found a home here and found a part of myself that I think I’ve been suppressing because I was expected to be this national icon.”  He’s read so many books and articles about this Captain America and the standard that he had to live by was too much to comprehend.  When Steve had been out investigating New York on his own and started realizing that he was looking at men and not women, things started coming together.  It was at that point that he knew he’d never told anyone; that he’d been hiding it and that he couldn’t keep trying to be what they wanted.  He needed to find out what his life could be without all those expectations.  “Now as much as I want someone to have a relationship with, they will see _him_ and not who I am now.”

He doesn’t know what response he expects, but the one he gets makes him bark a laugh. “I’m sure Tony could have painted the shield rainbow colors.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious stranger arrives at the Inn...okay...not so mysterious.

Pepper leaves the following day with a promise to return the next month. She kisses Steve’s cheek and as he watches her pull away, he thinks he made a new, old friend.  Going back in, he goes to check the kitchen for the dinner rush.

The next morning, Steve is wiping down the tables in the dining room when the front door opens. He turns to greet whoever it is and freezes.  The man that just came in is right out of Steve’s wet dreams.  He’s almost as tall as Steve, shoulders broad enough to give Steve a run for his money.  His hair is pulled back in a hipster bun, but it doesn’t look like he’s trying to be hipster.  He’s got a couple of days worth of stubble, cheek bones to make an angel weep and ice blue eyes the envy of any vampire enthusiast trending.  He smiles warmly at Steve, who has finally found the ability to move.

“Uh…hi…I don’t have a reservation, but I was hoping I could get a room.” Something in Steve’s stomach does a happy dance that Pepper’s suite hasn’t been booked.

“Oh, yeah…sure. We have one, it’s the master suite.  Is that okay?”  The guy’s smile doesn’t falter and Steve is sure he’s going to dream about this guy every night that he stays and probably most of the ones after.

“That’s fantastic.” Steve gives him the information card and watches as his dream man fills it out. _James Barnes from Brooklyn_ is staying…Steve watches him to see how many days he’ll be here and… _indefinitely._

“Are you moving to the area or just visiting?” The indefinitely does have Steve curious.

“Oh…I heard that a there might be work in this area with a contractor, so I could be moving here. The check out date isn’t a problem is it?”  James looks worried.

Steve gives him his best smile. “Not even a little.  The room is yours until you don’t need it anymore.”

James smiles in return. “Thanks….”

Steve extends his hand. “Oh yeah, Steve.  I’m Steve.  I own this place.”

James’s hand is warm and his eyes wrinkle as he grins. “It’s a truly lovely place, Steve.”  He doesn’t let go of Steve’s hand and Steve’s not sure if he’s really talking about the inn, or if he’s implying something else.

Travis comes in waving a hand towel, yelling about the produce supplier causing Steve and James to jump apart. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”  He doesn’t even notice that he’s interrupted something.  “He fucking did it again.  I asked for butternut squash and he didn’t bring it.  Instead, do you know what he brought, Steve? Take a guess!”

Steve starts to smirk, trying not to giggle. “What?”

James it watching the interaction with thinly veiled amusement. Travis rails on.  “Spaghetti squash, Steve!  Spaghetti squash!  Now you tell me how I’m supposed to make winter soup with spaghetti squash!”

Steve can’t hold it in anymore and starts to giggle. James looks at him, entranced.  Steve sees the play of joy at his amusement across James’s face.  Turning back to his friend, he smirks.  “You know why he does this, Travis.  If you’d just go out with him, he would start bringing you the right produce.”  Travis blushes.  “Every time he does this, what do you do?”

Travis blushes even more and James leans on the counter, now completely invested in this narrative. “I go to his farm to exchange it.”  It’s almost mumbled.

“And what happens when you get out there?” Steve’s enjoying this way too much.

“I let him give me a tour of the new crops.” He’s blushing now.

“And how long is a typical trip out there?”

Travis turns around. “I’m leaving because if you aren’t going to be indignant with me, this is a waste of my time.”  He returns to the kitchen and Steve knows that in a few minutes he’ll take the company truck and head to the farm.

Steve starts to laugh and James joins him. “Sorry about that James, but it’s the same thing, three times a week.”

“So I get a bed and a floor show?” That makes Steve laugh even harder.

“Yeah, I guess you do.” He hands over the key and points James up the stairs.  Steve is embarrassed to admit, but he watches the man walk up the stairs and knows for sure that all of his coming dreams will star that man, with that ass.  Shaking himself, Steve goes back to the dining room, but thoughts of James plague him all afternoon.

James looks around the suite and smiles. It’s not trendy or too cutesy; it’s just warm and inviting.  There doesn’t seem to be a theme like so many other B&B’s have, it’s just soft and he can see pieces of Steve’s artistic eye in the décor.  He didn’t get even a small hint that Steve recognized him and he sits on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.  He’s got to make sure that if Steve doesn’t know him that he keeps who they were to each other pressed down.  “Jesus Stevie, how am I going to make this work?”

He investigates the grounds during the afternoon. He sees Travis come back from the farm and carry in a box of what he can only assume is the squash that he needed.  He watches Steve with the other guests and how he smiles in a way that Bucky’s never seen.  All the years they’ve known each other and it’s a smile completely un-Steve.  It’s relaxed and truly happy.  If that’s how he smiles now then Bucky doesn’t want him to ever remember.  Shoulders slumped at that thought; he goes to retrieve his duffle from the truck and goes up to his room.

That night, he lays in bed thinking this through. The smart thing to do, for Steve, would be to check out tomorrow and go back to New York.  It’s been years since Steve left and he seems so happy here, without the weight and knowledge of Captain America.  Bucky should leave.  He should give Steve his space to be this new man.  He should, but he can’t.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and James get to know each other...finally.

James has been at the inn for three days and Steve hasn’t seen much of him. He gets up in the morning, has breakfast and leaves.  He doesn’t return until evening and has dinner, then heads off to bed.  Steve watches him covertly when he’s in the dining room.  There’s something mysterious about him, but Steve can’t seem to find traces of it in their short talks.  When he sits alone to eat, Steve can’t help but wonder more about him.  He’s beautiful and Steve really, really wants to get to know him.  He doesn’t act like he recognizes Steve, so that’s a plus.  But he keeps his distance because even the women that have eyed James up seem to pick up on his desire to be left alone.

Steve decides the third night, to change that. Travis has told him more than once that when Steve isn’t looking, James is watching him.  Travis’s exact words were, “looking at you like a love sick puppy,” but Steve laughs that off.  It isn’t that Steve doesn’t know he’s attractive.  He keeps his hair a bit longer, but still fashionable and keeps his beard trimmed.  Travis calls him rugged chic, Steve calls it comfortable.

When James comes in that evening, he goes up to shower and comes back down for dinner. He walks into the dining room and Steve nearly drops the plate he’s carrying.  James is dressed in black skinny jeans, a white Henley, with his hair down around his face.  Several of the female guests stop eating, one with her fork halfway to her mouth.  Steve can sympathize with her.

James sits at a table by the window, taking in his surroundings. He does it every time, like he’s watching for something or someone.  Steve delivers the plate he’s carrying and goes to James’s table.  “What can’t I get you, James?”

The vigilance disappears and a warm smile replaces it. “Whatever Travis’s special is tonight.”  Steve starts to turn away then stops himself.

“Would you mind if I joined you for dinner?” James seems surprised, but pleased.  He shakes his head and Steve goes to put the order in and gets water for the table.

When he enters the kitchen, that’s when he panics. Travis stops stirring the pot and cracks a smile.  “You finally did it, didn’t you?”

Steve leans heavily on the counter. “Yeah, and he said sure.  Okay, he didn’t actually say it, but when I asked if he would mind if I joined him, he shook his head.  That’s good right?  I mean that means he’s okay with me eating with him?  He’s not just being nice, is he?  Does he think he can’t say no because I own the place?  Oh god, what if he doesn’t think he can say no to me…”

Travis’s hand on his shoulder stops his meltdown. “Boss, listen, I’ve been watching the guy and he never takes his eyes off you when he’s here.  He’s into you.  Just get the drinks and I’ll bring out the food when it’s ready.”  Steve goes for the glasses.  “And just be yourself.  You’re a very likable guy.”

Steve nods, gets the drinks and returns to the table. James gets up and pulls his chair out.  Steve nearly swoons; beautiful and a gentleman.  “How was work?  I mean, you leave everyday and I just assumed…”

James chuckles. “Yeah, I got a job working for a local contractor.  Right now we’re renovating a store front for a diner.  It’s fun work.  Making someone’s vision come to life.”

Steve nods. God he really likes this guy.  Not just how he looks, but who he is.  “Is it the place on the square?  That corner store?”

James looks pleased. “Yeah, that’s the place.  I worked on the bar today.  Seems the company needed a carpenter and I fit the bill.”

“So you’re good with your hands?” After it comes out of his mouth, Steve realizes how it sounded.  He puts his face in his hands to cover the blush. “Oh god…I’m never going to live that down.”

James laughs and it’s beautiful, so worth Steve’s embarrassment. “I am good with my hands, in a carpenter sense.”  Steve takes a drink and raises an eyebrow in challenge.  “As for the other, I don’t know if I am or not.  I haven’t been with anyone, like that, in too many years to count.”

Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph, someone that looks like James hasn’t been in a relationship in years. Then it occurs to Steve that he doesn’t know if he has been or not.  “Neither have I…that I know of.”

The last part is an afterthought, but James catches it. “That you know of?”

“It’s a long story.” Travis comes out with the food.

“We’ve got nowhere to be while we’re eating. Regale me with this mysterious tale.”  It’s the smirk that does it.  Steve isn’t sure why he’s so willing to tell this stranger his misfortune, but he is and he does.

“It happened a few years ago.” They start eating, taking a minute to enjoy the food.  “I was…in an accident and I lost my memories.  I lost everything.  So as far as our earlier discussion, I don’t know if I had anyone in my life before or not.  I really don’t think so though.”

There’s a flicker of something that crosses James’s face, but it’s too quick for Steve to get a read on it. “So, you don’t remember anything?  Like nothing?”

Steve takes another bite. “Nope, this is who I am now and I really like it.”

James’s face does this melting from disbelief to soft warmth. “I like it too.”  They continue to talk through dinner and even after.  Taking a walk into the orchard, shoulders bumping occasionally, but no other contact.  Steve isn’t sure what he expected, but when James doesn’t get pushy it just makes the blond like him even more. 

“Can I ask you something?” They’ve been quietly walking for a little while.

Steve looks over, smiling. “Of course.”

James bumps his shoulder again, then shoves his hands in his pockets. “You said that you don’t even remember who you were before, but you had to have people in your life.  What did they think of you coming here?”

Steve sighs. “Well, they didn’t like it, but it wasn’t their decision to make.”  James stops and after a few more steps Steve stops too.  Turning back he looks at James, moon making his hair glow and his eyes stand out.  Jesus, Steve should not be feeling like this after one damn meal, but he really wants to drag James up to his apartment and never let him leave.  The look of expectation tells Steve that James wants him to explain.  “See, they had this idea of who I am supposed to be, but with no memory of them or that life, I just couldn’t…I don’t know…I couldn’t keep watching them be disappointed in me.”

“Do you really think that’s what it was? Disappointment, I mean.”  James joins him again and they start walking.

“I don’t know, but that’s how it felt. After a year or so of that, I needed to have a life, so I came here and bought this place.  I still talk to some of them, but the ones that couldn’t let go of who I was, not so much.” 

They stop at a tree and James leans on it, looking at the ground. Steve wonders if what he just said makes him sound like a selfish douche and James is rethinking their time together.  “I think what you’ve done here is amazing and if they can’t accept who you are now then maybe they didn’t really know you then.”

And Steve is in a whole shit ton of trouble now. James isn’t just his wet dream, but also his daydream.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travis gives Steve a little nudge.

The next three weeks find Steve and James spending every free minute together. It also turns out that the small things around the inn that need fixing, James is more than willing to do.  With the understanding that Steve has to join him for breakfast and dinner the following day, which is in no way a hardship for Steve.  The bashful flirting that the two do is enough to make Travis sick.  They are so adorably cute with each other that the man starts to wonder if they will break into song with small animals and birds joining in.

The event to kick things over the precarious edge that Steve and James have been navigating happens on a normal Tuesday mid-morning. Travis runs out of cilantro while fixing a salsa for the dinner menu.  Steve volunteers to go to town for some at the local grocer.  Travis sees it as an opportunity and fixes a lunch for Steve to take with him.  He’s sick and tired of Steve and James dancing around each other and not taking that next step.  “Travis, I’m not going to be in town long enough to eat lunch.”

“It’s not for you. It’s for James.  You’ll get into town about the time they break for lunch.  Take it to him, sit with him, spend time with him.”  Steve gives him his most unimpressed face.  “What?  You like this guy.  He likes you.  He lives here.  You have breakfast and dinner every day.  Show him that he’s important to you.  And for god sakes, could you please stop beating around the bush and kiss him!”

Steve doesn’t say anything, but does take the lunch. Travis is right, just about the time he pulls into the parking lot at the grocer, he can see the contracting crew breaking for lunch and heading down the street to the questionable pizza place.  Steve calls out to him and when James turns his face lights up with delight seeing Steve.  Steve jogs up, handing him the bag.  “Hey, I brought you lunch.”

James looks at him like he’s speaking a different language, then looks down at the bag. All he can think about, looking down at the bag, were the times his Stevie brought him lunch at the docks. It hurts, but he again has to push that down and not let this Steve know the ache it causes.  “You…you…wait…you brought lunch for me?”

“Uh…yeah…I had to come into town for something and thought you might like it more than the pizza.”

James beams at him. “I don’t know who in their right mind calls that pizza, but it’s not.”  He takes Steve’s hand and leads him into the park.  Steve’s giddy at having James hold his hand.  “I do miss New York pizza.”

“I’ll admit, there is good food to be found in New York.” They find a bench and sit.  James digs through the bag and pulls out the two sandwiches and drinks.  Steve realizes then that Travis meant for this to be a date.  Reaching into the bag, James pulls out two containers with a mixed greens salad.  “This was Travis wasn’t it?”

Steve blushes. “Yeah, he packed it for…us.”

James is half turned towards Steve with his elbow resting on the back of the bench. He’s just close enough to run a finger down Steve’s cheek.  Steve takes a shaky breath and looks up at James through his lashes.  “You are so damn beautiful.  I can’t believe someone hasn’t married you yet.”

Steve takes a deep stuttering breath. “No one’s ever called me beautiful before.”

James laughs. “That you know of.”  Steve cracks a grin at him.  “I really like your beard.  Not all men that have them actually look good, but you do.”

Steve looks down at the sandwich. “James, would you mind if I kiss you?”

He doesn’t answer, just leans in. Their lips connect and for Steve, at least, it’s magic.  He knows it’s silly and childish, but it’s the most perfect moment of his life.  That he can remember.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper arrives at the inn and things get complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters a little longer than the others because I couldn't find a place that I wanted to stop.

“Wait, wait, wait, how did I not know that you live in an apartment over the barn?” It’s been a week since the kiss in the park and there have been many more since then.  James has started getting up earlier so he can sit in the kitchen while Steve works on the pastries and Travis works on whatever he’s planning for the day.

“You two have been dating for a week, how did you not know that?” Steve freezes because he and James haven’t really defined what they are. 

“That’s what I’m sayin, you’d think I would have noticed you sneaking out to the barn every night.” James is laughing and Steve tries to act offended, but he’s having a hard time fighting the smile threatening.

“I don’t sneak out to the barn. You two make it sound illicit.”  That sends the other two into a fit of giggles.  Steve keeps rolling out the scones.  “You better watch it mister, or there will be no lemon/blueberry scones for you.”  He points the rolling pin at James.  “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you stealing more than two when you leave in the mornings.”  Steve also doesn’t mention that he holds some back if James has to leave earlier than normal. 

“Hey, Steve, it’s getting to be fall, why haven’t you made the pumpkin ones yet?” Travis is really curious because those are his personal favorites.

“I’m waiting for your farmer to bring me a pumpkin so I can.” Two can play this matching game.

“He’s not my farmer.” Travis makes a hasty retreat to his stove.

“Only because you’re too chicken to ask him out.” James grins at Steve who high fives him over the work station.

Lillian, one of the maids, sticks her head in the kitchen. “Steve, you have someone out here asking after you.”

Steve looks at the clock. It’s way too early for anyone to be here.  Wiping his hands on his towel, he kisses James quickly and goes to the front desk.  James watches him leave, then turns back to Travis.  James and Travis trade jokes until Steve comes back in the kitchen with a woman trailing him.  “James, I want you to meet someone.”  James stands, turns and freezes. 

Pepper freezes too, but recovers faster than James. She extends her hand.  “James, it’s nice to meet you.  I’m Pepper, a friend of Steve’s from New York.  He was just telling me that you’re staying here.”

James takes her hand, giving her a silent thank you. “It’s nice to meet you.”  He looks up at the clock and turns to Steve.  “I better get going.  If I get an early start, I can be home quicker.”  He leans in, hesitates, then kisses Steve.  “I’ll see you tonight.”

Steve reaches up and traces James’s cheekbone. “See you when you get home.”  For a brief second, James forgets that anyone else is watching.  He leans in again and kisses Steve, pouring his intense feelings into the contact.

“Don’t burn my scones.” He whispers then turns to leave. Steve pops him in the ass with the towel and he barks a laugh.

Pepper watches all of this and when James is out of earshot, she pats her pockets. “I forgot my cell in the car, I promised Tony I would text when I got here.  I’ll be right back and you better have some scones for me.”  Steve grins and Pepper beats a hasty exit to catch the Winter Soldier.

She’s out the door and standing next to his truck before he can get out of the drive. “James Buchannan Barnes, you better explain yourself right now!”

He leans forward on the steering wheel; pressing his forehead against the unforgiving plastic. “When I showed up here, I didn’t believe that he couldn’t remember anything.  I thought at least I would jog his memory, but I didn’t.  At first it was upsetting, but then we started to get to know each other and all those feelings I had back then for that Steve, died.”

She looks shocked. “I don’t understand.”

“That Steve is dead Pepper. He died when he lost everything that he was.  This Steve is so different.  He’s free of expectations.”  He grips the steering wheel tight enough that his right hand knuckles turn white.  “I didn’t mean to fall in love with this one, but I did.  And I think he might love me too.  If he finds out, I’ll lose him.”

“Oh James…but…you have to tell him.” Tears have sprung up and James can’t fight them.

He nods that he knows, but he just doesn’t want to lose Steve again. And this one is so wonderfully happy that he feels his heart breaking already.  “I know.”

He does work that day, but he leaves at lunch, telling the boss that he needs to get to an appointment. He’s far enough ahead in his work that it won’t put the crew behind.  He goes to the lake outside of town, watching the birds start their migration.  He calls Sam because he doesn’t know what else to do.

“Hey Barnes, how is everything?” Bucky tells Sam everything that’s happened and Pepper’s arrival.  “Damn man, when you said you were going to see him, I didn’t know…jesus James…this is about to get messy.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can lose him again Sam. What if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you have to take this one step at a time. Remember what we’ve talked about.  You can’t make other people act how you want, you can only…”

Bucky finishes for him. “You can only control how you react.  Yeah, I know, but I didn’t expect to get here and fall head over heels for this Steve.”

“Maybe you just need to be honest and give him space to process. And tell him how you feel, it might make a difference.”  There’s a sniffle from Bucky and Sam’s voice goes soft.  “You really love this guy, huh?”

“I thought if he didn’t remember me, then we could just be friends, but then he smiled like I’ve never seen him smile before and everything I felt before melted away and this new feeling took its place. Sam you should watch him when he’s baking.  It’s like this is what he was always meant to be.”

“Damn Barnes, you have gotten yourself into a serious situation.”

The call ends and Bucky sits on the tailgate of the truck watching the stars. Finally, well after dark, he crawls into the front of the truck and sleeps.

When he doesn’t make it home for dinner, Steve panics. Pepper knows what’s happening, she knows that he’s processing what he has to do, but she can’t tell Steve that without revealing too much.  She watches him pace and call James’s boss.  She fixes him tea in the office and sits with him hoping he’ll talk, but he just gets a faraway look and sips the tea.

She finally can’t take it anymore. “You’re in love with him?”

He tries to shake his head, but knows it would be a lie. “Yeah, not sure when it happened.  It just kinda did.”

“You want a life with him?” She’s trying to get him to talk what he’s feeling through.

“I want everything with him.” His eyes are red rimmed.  “What happened, Pepper?  Why wouldn’t he come home?  His boss said he left at lunch.  Do you think he went back to New York?”

She doesn’t know how to respond without saying too much. “I don’t think he went back to New York.  Maybe…I don’t know Steve.  I don’t know what’s happened.”  She thinks about her next question before asking.  “What if he had something in his past, like you, that he’s building up the courage to tell you?  Would you be willing to listen and give him a voice?”

“Of course. I told him about everything, sort of, and he didn’t judge.”  Steve looks determined.

“What do you mean ‘sort of?’” Steve looks at her guilty.  “You didn’t tell him you were Captain America before the accident?”

Steve won’t meet her eyes. “How do you tell that to someone?  Hey, by the way, before this robot blasted me in the head and wiped out everything I used to be, I was Captain America and made a habit out of saving the planet.  How does that even get worked into a conversation?”

Pepper chuckles. “Well, you could have just said it like that.”  Steve laughs and relaxes just a little.

“I don’t care what he has in his past, Pepper. I only care about who he is now.”  Pepper nods and hopes that he still feels that way after it all comes out.

Steve doesn’t sleep that night; he walks the orchard until close to 4AM. He knows he needs to go in to make the pastries, but he can’t make himself do it.  What if he loses James for some reason?  He thinks about what Pepper asked and really examines the implications.  Does he care if James has a dark secret?  The answer is a resounding _no_.  All he knows is that he loves James Barnes.

He’s sitting with his back to one of the trees mumbling to himself. “Come on James, don’t do this to me, just when I start to love you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky confesses to Steve and Pepper tells Steve what she knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's confession may seem confusing, but I tried to think about how he would say it and even practiced it out loud. Of all the variations of what I wrote and deleted, this is how it worked best.

The crunch of leaves is the only warning Steve gets. “My name is Bucky.”  Steve jumps up; throwing himself into James’s arms.  James folds him into an embrace, breathing in Steve.  He hears the stutter of Steve’s breathing and knows that he did this all wrong.  Making his Stevie worry was not what he intended.  Knowing this may be the last time that he gets to be this close to Steve, he pulls him in tighter.

“What?” Steve pulls away.  “Bucky?”

Bucky steps away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, it’s a nickname my sister gave me when we were kids.”

He’s looking at the ground and not at Steve. “I don’t understand.  How do you get Bucky from James?”

Bucky quirks a not quite there smile. “You don’t.  My name is James Buchannan Barnes.  She couldn’t say Buchannan, so she called me Bucky.”

Steve’s trying not to focus so much on the name and more on the why of this confusing situation. “Ja…Bucky, where were you?”

He turns half away from Steve. “I slept in my truck because I was afraid to come back here.”

Steve steps into his space, but Bucky takes a step back. “I don’t understand.”  It’s the second time he’s said that and he’s no closer to getting an answer.  Bucky is acting like he’s guilty of something and Steve wants to have everything made clear.

“I need you to make me a promise.” Steve nods.  “I need you to promise to listen to everything before you walk away from me.”  That’s what the behavior is, Steve finally realizes, Bucky is resigned to the idea that Steve is going to walk away.

Steve doesn’t like how this is feeling, but he loves Bucky. Jesus, he loves him so much.  “Okay.”

“You don’t remember anything from before.” And now a dark fear grasps Steve’s lungs and squeezes.  He gives a slow nod.  “Okay, well, I want to tell you a story and when I’m done you do what you have to, but I want you to know before that,” He swallows.  “I love you.  I’m in love with you Stevie.  I love you so damn much it’s like the only thing that makes sense to me.”  Steve chokes on a sob.  Bucky kicks at a stick near his foot. He takes a deep breath, bracing himself. “Once upon a time there were two boys.  They grew up during the Great Depression and barely got by.  One of them got drafted and before he left, he really wanted to tell his best friend that he loved him, but it could get them killed if it ever got out, so he didn’t say anything and left the love of his life behind.”  Steve watches the emotions wash over Bucky’s face and wonders where this story is going.  “The boy he loved did something stupid.  He let a bunch of crazy scientists experiment on him and he went from being sick and physically weak, to being a powerhouse.  That was good though because he went to war too and saved his friend from a death camp.”

Steve is putting two and two together and not sure what to do with the information. Bucky doesn’t look at him, he’s staring off like he’s reliving it all.  “Then one of the friends went off the side of a train and the other flew a plane into the ocean.  Neither of them met again for about 70 years.”  Bucky wants so much to hold Steve, who is crying now, but he keeps his hands to himself.  “One of them woke up in a time he didn’t understand and became a hero and one was brainwashed into an assassin.  He didn’t know himself or his friend until he was snapped out of his conditioning with just a few words. Special words.”  Bucky takes a deep breath before continuing.  “The assassin saved his friend, the man he loved, but ran from him because he didn’t know himself anymore.  He needed to find himself, remake who he was.  When he did, he went to find his friend, but he’d gone because he’d lost everything that had ever made him who he was in a freak attack.”

Steve looks up horrified. They basically had the same experience, but Steve didn’t have to be tortured to get there.  Bucky just looks sad, but keeps going.  “When I came here looking for you, I thought you would see me and remember, but you didn’t.  Then I started getting to know this Steve and he was even more precious to me than the other one.  This Steve found himself without an identity and made himself into what he wanted and needed to be.  I fell in love with you the first night you sat to eat dinner with me.  I fell in love with this Steve because the other Steve died.  I grieve for him, but you’re the one that I love.”  He finally looks at Steve.  “I’m sorry I lied to you.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.  I’m sorry, Stevie.”

He gets up to leave, but a hand on his arm stops him. “Don’t go.”  Bucky looks at him with so much hope that it nearly breaks Steve’s heart.  “Let me process everything then we can talk, but please don’t leave the inn.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’ll stay as long as you let me.”

“So can I assume you know Pepper?” Bucky nods.  “That’s why you had to tell me, you knew she’d do it if you didn’t.”

He nods again. “I know that makes me a coward.  I know I don’t deserve anything from you.”  This time he does walk away.  He gets in his truck and goes to work.  Steve watches the truck pull away, wanting to stop him, but also knowing that he has thinking to do.  He goes into the inn and starts on the pastries.  There won’t be as many this morning, but he can get a few batches done.  Travis doesn’t bother him, he can tell by the set of Steve’s shoulders that something is wrong.  Pepper comes into breakfast and Steve sits with her, staring down at his coffee.

“He told you didn’t he?” She’s waited nearly twenty minutes.  He just nods, not looking up from his cup.  “How do you feel about everything?”

Sighing he finally looks up. “I need to understand some things.  Can you help me?”

She grins. “I’ll do everything in my power to answer anything you need me to.”

They spend the day in his apartment. Pepper walks in and exclaims that if she didn’t know he was gay, the apartment would have been a dead giveaway.  He just snorts at that.  “Thanks for stereotyping me, Pepper.”

Steve’s proud of his apartment. He spent months after moving here refinishing everything from floor to ceiling.  The exposed brick adds texture and personality and he updated the kitchen knowing it would be his test kitchen for pastries.  “I’m just saying, this isn’t the apartment of a straight man.  God knows I wish you could rub a little of this charm off on Tony.”

He fixes them tea and they sit, she notices the painting on the easel, contemplating asking about that, but decides to wait. Steve clears his throat.  “What can you tell me about Bucky?”

“Only what he told us when he arrived in New York.” She proceeds to tell him about Bucky ending up in the little African Nation of Wakanda.  How they had replaced his arm with a new one that could mimic a real one using technology that even Tony was jealous of, how they had rehabilitated him and gotten the trigger words from his torture out of his head.  They gave him a home, but ultimately, he needed to find Steve. 

When he arrived in America, he’d gone to Sam. He’d wanted to make something of himself before coming to Steve.  Something that wasn’t a brainwashed assassin.  Sam had helped him find a job working with a contractor that specialized in wood working.  Bucky had picked it up quickly.  She told him that after the accident with Ultron, Sam didn’t immediately tell Bucky everything about Steve because they had hoped to reverse it and Sam hadn’t returned to Washington right after in hopes that he could help.  He’d practically lived at the Compound for an extended time after the accident.  When he had returned to Washington, he’d gone straight to Bucky with the information.  

It had taken months for Bucky to recover from that with Sam’s help, then he’d made the trip to New York to see Steve, but Steve had already left. Bucky worked with the Avenger with intel on Hydra and between Bucky and the rest of the team, Hydra was all but non-existent now.  Bucky made the decision to come to Vermont when he just couldn’t keep going without Steve.  Tony had tried to stop him, but according to Bucky, he didn’t care if Steve didn’t remember him or could ever love him, he just needed to be close to him in whatever way he could be.

“Steve, he’s loved you his whole life. He knows you aren’t the same person anymore and he loves this you as much as he loved the other you.  He would never force you to be or do anything you didn’t want.”  Pepper is pleading Bucky’s case because she knows how much these two idiots need each other.

“I know that, if it wasn’t true, he wouldn’t have left me this morning, he would have tried to force a conversation.” He knows Bucky, this Bucky, his Bucky.

“What are you going to do?” She’s really afraid that Steve will want to be away from anything from his past life, but he grins at her.

“I’m going to live happily ever after, Pepper.” Pepper laughs excitedly and throws herself into Steve’s arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A growing relationship.

Bucky comes home that night, sneaks up the stairs to shower and then quietly comes back down for dinner. He knows it’s time for the  dinner rush so he’s hoping that he can get in and get out without too much of a stir.  He isn’t expecting to find Pepper playing maitre’d.  The dining room is empty except for one table in the middle, the lights are dimmed and there are candles on the table.  Pepper offers her arm and Bucky smirks at her, but takes it.  “What’s going on Pepper?”

She gives him a soft smile. “You’ll see.”

She seats him at the table and music floats in from the kitchen. “The chef has prepared a beautiful meal tonight, an exclusive menu only deemed appropriate for very special occasions.”

“And tonight is special because?” The kitchen door opens before Pepper can answer and Steve comes in dressed in grey slacks, hugging every asset he has, which are many, and a pale blue sweater that must be two sizes too small, but Bucky isn’t complaining. 

“Tonight is special because all of our secrets are out in the open and we love each other anyway.” Bucky practically glows from that new piece of information.  Steve takes a seat across from him, Pepper excuses herself to the kitchen and Steve beams at Bucky.  “Is there anything else I need to know?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m sure between me and Pepper you know everything there is.”

“Good, now I want to see the arm.” Bucky’s eyes bug out.  “What?  If I’m going to build a life with you, I should see your cyborg parts.”

The laugh that erupts from Bucky is pure joy. He pushes up his sleeve and twists a bead on the bracelet that he always wears.  The arm shimmers, then changes from flesh to a sleek black with inlays of gold at the joints of the plates.  Steve’s just staring. Bucky gets nervous.  “Well?”

“It’s incredible and beautiful.” He starts to reach out, but stops.  “May I?”  Bucky nods and Steve runs his finger from the bend of the elbow down the forearm and onto the palm.  Bucky shivers from the sensation.  “You can feel that?”

“The people that made it are very good at what they do.” Steve hums at that, but keeps stroking Bucky’s palm.  “You keep doing that Stevie and you’ll have to show me your apartment a lot sooner than you probably want to.”

Steve blushes, but keeps doing exactly what he’s doing. “Did you used to call me Stevie?  Back then?”

The question surprises Bucky enough that he stops feeling aroused and starts feeling like he’s made an error by falling into old habits. “I did, but I can stop if you need me to.”

Before Steve can answer, the kitchen door opens and Travis comes in carrying a plate. Sitting it on the table, he grins mischievously.  “I made the messiest appetizer I could.”  They look at him perplexed.  “It means there will be fingers to be licked.”  He winks at Steve.  “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

Dinner is perfect. Steve doesn’t know what he did in his previous life to deserve how perfect it actually is.  “I was thinking we could take a walk.  What do you think, Buck?”

Bucky’s heart melts hearing this old nickname. “I think that sounds like a good idea.”  The night is cool, but not cold, so when Steve puts his arm around Bucky’s waist, he knows it isn’t for warmth.

They walk into the orchard arm in arm. “I don’t mind you calling me Stevie.  I like it.” 

Bucky leans in, kissing his temple. “Then I’ll keep doing it.”  Steve chuckles.

“Did you mean what you said about moving here if there’s work?” It’s the only thing that’s really been bothering Steve.

“I’d move here to be with you even if there wasn’t work.” Steve stops them, wrapping his arms around Bucky tightly.  “I’m sure you can find things to keep me busy around here.”

The kiss that happens is tentative, but when Bucky responds, Steve deepens it, begging for entrance, which Bucky grants immediately. Bucky’s hands brush up Steve’s sides, going under the sweater to get to skin.  Steve pulls away slightly whispering Bucky’s name, then going back to kissing this man that he’s fallen for.  When they pull away for air, Steve looks into those stormy grey eyes.  “You are so beautiful.”

Bucky blushes deeply. “That’s my line, sweetheart.”  Steve laughs quietly, then starts kissing him again.

 

They take things slow. They’ve avoided anything physical besides kissing which Steve’s becoming increasingly addicted to.  Pepper stays for a few extra days, but she notices something interesting about this blooming relationship: Bucky never talks about their past, he never brings up before the war, he never acts like there’s a shared history.

She wants to ask, but doesn’t. Steve falls into a routine with work and Bucky.  He enjoys their mornings together and in the evenings, when the inn is quiet, they watch movies or sit on the porch.  On this night, in mid-November, they are on the porch, snuggled under a quilt.  Earlier in the day Steve had developed a headache and Bucky had done everything in his power to ease any tension Steve might be feeling.  The inn has been busy and that seems to make Steve a little more jumpy.  “Buck, do you ever miss New York?”

Bucky’s arm tightens around Steve. “Nope, okay, I miss the pizza, but not the city.”  Steve chuckles.  “Why do you ask?”

He doesn’t answer for a little while, but Bucky just waits patiently. “I just wondered if this was too isolated for you.  If you needed more stimulation.”

Bucky outright laughs at that. “Trust me, I get plenty of stimulation from you.”

He doesn’t have to look to know that Steve is blushing. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I do, but everything I want is here. You’re here.”  Steve leans his head on Bucky’s shoulder and hums in contentment.

The quiet lingers, then Steve pushes away staring into the night. “Bucky, why don’t you ever talk to me about when we were kids?”

Bucky watches the tense muscles of Steve’s back. “Because that’s not us anymore.  Those two stupid kids are gone, they aren’t coming back.”

Steve doesn’t turn, just keeps staring. “There is one thing I wish you’d tell me about.”

Bucky finally leans forward, kissing Steve’s shoulder. “If you ask, I won’t lie to you or cover anything up.  You just have to ask.”

“Tell me about my mother.” Bucky pulls him back, settling him back against him and starts telling Steve about Sarah Rogers.  Steve doesn’t remember her, but to hear Bucky talk about her makes him cry.  Bucky quietly keeps talking and Steve quietly listens with tears on his cheeks.  That’s the first night that Bucky sleeps in Steve’s bed and they do more than sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are coming.

Bucky comes in from work in the early part of November. Apple picking season is over and things at the inn are slower than they have been in recent months.  Who knew that people liked picking apples so damn much?  Over the last month, Bucky has noticed that Steve’s getting headaches every couple of weeks.  The serum isn’t supposed to allow that to happen, so Bucky has been insistent that something is wrong.  Steve tries to laugh it off, but even he starts to get concerned when the last one has sent him to bed for two days.  He’s been to the doctor in town, but they haven’t found anything wrong and just chalked it up to stress of running a successful business.  Bucky listens in disagreement because again, the serum should be fixing this.

He goes towards the kitchen only to be cut off by Lillian. “He’s not here.”  Bucky frowns.  “He’s in the apartment.  Travis sent him up there around lunch today.”

Bucky hangs his head and sighs. “Another one?”

She nods and looks as worried as everyone else. “Yeah, this one made him sick.”

Bucky runs out the door and heads to the apartment. Once inside, he nearly bellows out Steve’s name, but catches himself before he does something that stupid.  Going into the bedroom, he finds Steve sleeping.  Kicking off his boots, outer shirt and jeans, he climbs in, cuddling up behind Steve and wrapping a protective arm around him.  Steve shifts, pushing back into Bucky’s warmth.

Bucky kisses the back of his neck. “How are you feeling?”

Steve is sleep soft and barely awake, so Bucky trusts that he’s being honest. One thing that hasn’t changed about Steve is his ability to blow off how bad he really is.  “I’m good.  Pepper sent new meds and they seem to work.”

He rolls over, snuggling further into Bucky. “You are downright cute when you’re sleepy.”

Steve pulls his head back, blinking up at Bucky innocently. “I’m not cute all the time?”

“Stop fishing for compliments.” Leaning down, he kisses the pout right off of Steve’s face.  “I got a call from Pepper today.”

Steve nods. “Yeah, she told me that they are coming for Thanksgiving.  Booked the whole inn for the week.”  Steve burrows back into Bucky’s chest.  “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“That’s what she was worried about, but assured me that they aren’t coming here looking for Cap. Their coming here because they want to see Steve.”  Bucky rolls onto his back, pulling Steve with him.

“Then I guess we’re hosting the Avengers for Thanksgiving. God help us all.”  Bucky barks a laugh, then tries to apologize, but Steve kisses him to shut him up.

The Sunday before they all arrive, Steve does a once over on the rooms, making sure that everything is the way he wants it. He and Travis have been baking and going over recipes with Travis giving Steve tips.  “So, I don’t actually put the stuffing in the turkey before baking it?”

Travis rolls his eyes. “Well you do if you want to poison them.  Steve you can’t put the stuffing in before baking because if you cook it until the stuffing is done, then you dry out the turkey.  Just cook the stuffing separate like I told you, use the drippings from the turkey to moisten the stuffing.”  Steve nods.  “What else have you decided on?”

Steve points out seven more recipes that he’s decided will round out the meal. “I’m also doing about five pies.  We’ve got the cookie dough in the fridge and I’m making fudge.  I’ll do the pastries fresh every morning like normal and Bucky said he’d make bacon and eggs if they wanted that too.”

Bucky comes in from checking in with the vet in the barn. “What will Bucky do?”  He slips his arms around Steve’s waist, kissing him on the shoulder.

“You’ll do the normal breakfast stuff if anyone wants it.” Bucky hums and kisses the side of Steve’s neck.  “Now, Travis, get your ass out of my inn and I shouldn’t see you until next Saturday.”  Travis hugs them both and grabs his bag.

“Text me if you need help with anything you’re cooking.” Steve nods, then shoos him out the back door.

Leaning back into Bucky’s strength and warmth, Steve closes his eyes. “This is going to be a shit show, you know this right?”

Bucky chuckles. “I won’t let it.  You just lean on me when you need to.”

“What if I just want to?”

Bucky laughs, spinning Steve around. “Need, want…whatever you have to do.”  The inn is empty in preparation for the team the next day, so Steve feels no issue with making out with Bucky in the kitchen.  When Steve’s hand slides down to cup Bucky’s erection, the breathless moan he lets out has Steve smiling into their kiss.  “Stevie…”  Steve sinks to his knees, opening Bucky’s jeans.  Bucky looks down, smirking.  “Is this sanitary?”

Steve winks up at him. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything spill.”  Bucky hangs his head moaning.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it was always going to end.

As soon as everyone arrives, Pepper is leaping from the car, hugging Steve and Bucky tightly. “I have missed you two.”  The others are not as enthusiastic because they don’t know where they stand.

Tentative hugs are given and everyone is given their room keys. Steve, remembering the last batch of cookies in his apartment, runs to get them while everyone gets settled in.   When he comes down the stairs, Thor is standing at the stall of Impala, the only Friesian in the stable.  “Thor?”

Thor turns, looking apologetic. “Oh Steven, I am sorry.  I guess I was just drawn to him.”

Steve smiles widely. “Don’t apologize.  Imp is beautiful and seems to like you.”

Thor smiles, but it’s shy. “Steven, it has been too long.”  Steve flushes.  “I know you do not remember before, but it did not change how I feel about you.”

Steve looks up confused. “What do you mean?”

“Beyond my own brother, you were the closest person to family. You understood what it meant to be a warrior even when you did not always want to be.”  Thor looks sadly at his one time friend.

“I didn’t leave because I didn’t want to be around any of you. I left because I couldn’t be him for you.”  Steve sits the container on a bale of hay.  “I just needed to find out who I could be without the expectations.”

“I never had a choice in expectations. Born of a king, I was to be king.”  He looks up smiling softly.  “You have a wonderful thing here with your shield-mate.”

“My…” Then Steve realizes that Thor means Bucky. “Yeah, it’s better than anything I thought I would have.”

Thor picks up the container, puts and arm around Steve’s shoulder and together they go to find the rest of the party. Tony is inspecting everything, Pepper is drinking tea and talking with Bucky about a painting that’s new, it’s one of Steve’s, Nat and Bruce are lounging on a sofa looking through the ‘Things to do’ booklet, and Wanda and Vision are coming out of the kitchen carrying a tray with coffee.

Steve stops at the French Doors looking at this group that, if he could remember them, used to be family. Bucky turns and watches the play of emotions wash across Steve’s face.  Coming over, he leans in, kissing him.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I am.” They spend time just talking, until Steve gets up to go cook.

Pepper follows him into the kitchen, and the rest trail behind them to watch. Bucky is already rolling out the dough.  “What are we having for dinner?  Wait, you cook?”  Tony perches on a stool watching the infamous Winter Soldier, picking up the dough and stretching it.

“Of course we cook. How do you think we run an inn if we don’t cook for people?”  Steve leans over the stove, taste testing the sauce.  “And we’re having pizza.  Bucky hasn’t been able to find a decent slice since leaving New York, so we came up with our own recipe.”

Wanda and Pepper step up to help and everyone gets their own with whatever toppings they want. The dining room tables have been put together for one long table and everyone eats, talking over each other.  Vision watches with a lovesick expression as Wanda steals a slice of Tony’s pizza.  “Hey, eat your own food!”  She giggles, but takes the slice anyway.

The following days are spent with the group exploring and Thor spends time riding Impala. When he comes in after a ride, he seems reflective, but happy.  Wanda, Vision, and Pepper, dragging Nat and Bruce along with them, explore the town.  Bucky gets called by his former boss and goes to help fix a hole in a porch.  Leaving Steve and Tony at the inn alone.

Steve starts working on prep for the meal on Thanksgiving Day. He’s lowering the turkey into the brine when Tony comes into the kitchen.  “What in the hell are you doing?”

Steve looks up laughing. “I’m brining the turkey, Tony.”

“I don’t know what that means. Are you making this up?”  Tony sits on the stool again.

“It’s how you season the turkey all the way through.” He goes on to tell Tony what’s in the brine, then closes the lid.  Washing up, he knows that Tony has something to say and waits it out.

“Steve, you did good for yourself here.” Turning to the older man, Steve leans on the counter.  “I didn’t agree with it and made no secret about that, but every time Pepper would come back from seeing you, she was relaxed and happy.  You gave her a place to take all of the stresses that I cause away.  Thank you.”

Steve is staring down at the floor. “So you aren’t mad at me anymore for abandoning you?”

Tony huffs. “You didn’t abandon us, you went out and found a life.  I know you don’t remember this, but we encouraged you to have something besides the job.  You told me once that the guy that wanted that went into the ice 70 years ago.  It made me worry about you.”  Steve looks up surprised.  “You deserve this.”

“Thank you, Tony.” He goes over to the island and starts prepping the vegetables and cornbread.

“What are you doing now?” Steve looks up grinning.

“Now? I’m about to get a man that doesn’t know the first thing about cooking to help me prep for Thanksgiving dinner.”  He holds up a knife.  “You up for it Iron Man?”

Tony jumps down, rolls up his sleeves, smirking. “Try me.”

By the time everyone returns from their adventures, Steve and Tony have music playing, are singing, purposely, off key, and cooking chili for the night’s dinner.

Bucky comes in the kitchen’s back door carrying flowers. Seeing that everyone is in the kitchen and Steve seems to be in high spirits, he looks at Pepper and nods.  She exits the kitchen and Bucky can just imagine that’s she’s bolted up the stair taking two at a time. 

Bucky steps over to Steve, right into his personal space. “I brought you these.” 

Reaching up, Steve caresses his cheek. “You didn’t hafta get me flowers, Buck.”

Pepper reenters the kitchen, stepping over to Bucky. “You ready?”

Bucky nods and gets down on one knee. Steve’s eyes well up and Wanda’s hands fly up to her mouth.  Everyone is stunned into silence.  “I’ve wanted to do this since the night all our secrets came out.”  He reaches over, taking Steve’s hand.  “I had planned on doing this tomorrow, but walking in and seeing everyone so happy, especially you, I knew it had to be now.”  He looks over at Pepper, who hands him the small box.  She goes over, leaning on Tony, who kisses her cheek.  “Our roads haven’t always been easy and never seemed to converge, but we got here.  Right here, right now, is the best that life has ever been for us.”  Steve nods and doesn’t even try to wipe away the tears cascading down his face.  “I want us to always be like this, traveling this road together like I think we were always meant to.  Steve, my sweet, beautiful Stevie, let’s get married.”

Steve sits the flowers behind him on the counter and knows that there’s only one response that he can make to that. It came to him during one of the worst headaches he’s ever had, about a week ago.  He didn’t tell anyone, not even Bucky.  It’s not everything he lost, just one tiny piece, but it’s the only piece that matters.  He holds out his hand, lets Bucky slip the ring on and when he looks back up into Steve’s face, Steve says the only thing that matters.  “Til the end of the line, Buck.”


End file.
